Steals and Deals – Facebook marketplace

Recently I’ve been spending a good portion of my days trolling the local Facebook Marketplace looking for the top deals in the Syracuse area to share with the TTAF audience. If you’re not familiar, compared to eBay, shopping on Facebook Marketplace is like having unprotected sex with strangers in your local public park at midnight. By that I mean it provides loads of raw excitement with a good chance of getting strangled. And did I mention the deals? Genuinely asking here. I’m not saying they’re better than DealDash but they definitely rival your neighbor’s garage sale. So keep all that in mind and remember that everything I found is local pickup only so to take advantage you’d most likely need to hop on a flight. Hesitate at your own peril because these deals will not last. Buy or die bitches.

Full Set of Pro Select Titanium Steel Shot Irons and Woods – $79

$79 for 12 “like new” golf clubs means you’d be getting each stick for what you’d fork over for the two cheeseburger deal at McDonnies!! Yes, Walmart had a (new) Pro Select set on sale for $129 that included a bag and a 13th club, but good luck finding them because they are 100% fucking sold out.

Not sure if all Pro Select sets have the same features and advantages but – if they do – you can expect the 6-9 irons to have “deep undercut cavities and rear placed weights to help increase performance, accuracy and forgiveness.” The offset mallet designed putter? Oh yeah, it has an alignment marker to help you line up putts that you probably won’t have because YOU’VE ALREADY HOLED OUT. Lastly, each club gets the famous TPR (“Totally Professional… Really”) grip which promises a “sure, steady handle.” These are the wands Meg Mallon wishes she played if she wasn’t locked into an exclusive 14 club deal with Sonartec.

Bish, tell me more about these stizzicks!

  1. As you can see in the description, these are “LADY GOLF CLUBS” which makes them classier and harder to score with. More challenge means more high fives when you get it in the hole if you catch my drift.
  2. Compared to the Pro Selects listing I found on, these look to be plated with real 14 karat gold. So nice you’ll think twice about wearing protection! Talking about iron covers this time, not prophylactics.

Dunlop Solution Metal Woods, Confidence 4 Wood Wood, Contour Golf Irons – $150

Say you had an idea for a tournament that was the golf equivalent to an “ugly sweater” Christmas party. In this hypothetical event, each participant had to compete with an unfamiliar, totally terrible collection of clubs. And maybe to make this dream a reality, as tournament director, it was your responsibility to provide equipment for everyone. So this responsibility then puts you into a panic to buy up every shit set in the city, wildly overpaying for anything you could get your hands on because 1000 other dickwads around the country had read about the same stupid idea in Golfers Quarterly and are planning for the same exact tournament at the same time. THIS WOULD BE THE SET TO PURCHASE!

Yes, the true value of this pile of garbage is about $1 but let that go bro! You need 200 sets of golf clubs, remember? Everyone is relying on you. And Steele Williams has over $10,000 in unpaid parking tickets that need to be cleared before his late model (former police cruiser) Dodge Charger can be released from impoundment. Please just buy the god damn golf clubs and give him the tiny bit of kindness that has eluded him his entire life.

Ovation 2 Driver – $10

Your eyes do not deceive you! There are some cool dents in the heel area and a sizable crack above the face that the seller insists “DOES NOT AFFECT DRIVE AT ALL.” And why would it? Sensible golfers strike shots on the center of the face and that face you see is cleaner than my breasts after a trip to the Russian bathhouse.

In full disclosure the PGA Value guide lists this driver with “10.5 degree lift” as having “no value” even in good condition. It stands to reason then you may be able to haggle with the seller and have him pay you to take it off their hands.

I’ll admit with the club championship on the line I’m not sure I would want to be gaming this boom stick even if I was competing in the D Flight. But maybe if I was a beginning or intermediate golfer as the seller suggests I could safely use it as a weapon against those young punks that like to hit into my foursome. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to make good on my threat to break my driver off in their asses. Please don’t take this the wrong way.

These are but a small sampling of the wonderful bargains I was able to uncover. I encourage you to troll as I do and participate in this vibrant buying and selling scene. You may just find yourself a short drive away from Weedsport to score yourself a $5 set of LoCo brand Gulf Clubs. Just don’t listen to 30+ handicapper Joel Tweed on who gave the Dunlop LoCo Hybrid just one star and described it as “actually sucking.”

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